


We developed a language and a comfort (He's not looking at me the same)

by wherearetheclowns



Category: Actor RPF, Shameless (US) RPF
Genre: Bisexual men, Cameron's leg is broken, Filming of Shameless s10, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Noel takes care of Cameron, RPF, TW: A small mentioning of a toxic relationship in the past, There's so much trust between them, Timeline: October-November'19
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:34:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22113433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wherearetheclowns/pseuds/wherearetheclowns
Summary: Please read the tags, folks.______________________________"They look at each other and suddenly both exhale loudly once again, with satisfaction. After all of the running Noel did today, he just gets to walk as slow as he wants to. Or even not walk at all. Cameron was walking and jumping so much that now he just gets tobeand ignore every single thing around him.Except for Noel.[...]It's a safe space, they don't need to pretend."
Relationships: Noel Fisher/Cameron Monaghan
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	We developed a language and a comfort (He's not looking at me the same)

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. 
> 
> If you're into RPF, enjoy.  
> If you're NOT into RPF and can't even take it as some kind of AU to enjoy, you should probably go read something or someone else.
> 
> Either way, please be nice. Kudos and respectful comments are highly appreciated. x

Cameron is always doing his best when it comes to his fans. Well, maybe not _always_ , but definitely as much as possible. Take some pictures. Smile at the camera. _No, please, let's not hug_ , _I— No._

"No, you can’t hug me." 

People usually mumble or think he’s a dick for that, but he does not let strangers into his private space. Cameron also doesn't like stalkers, but who likes them, really? He's not being rude to them simply because he's not a total asshole. He cannot say the same thing about them, though, but that is not on Cameron. 

This time however, is exhausting. Instead of going out with the rest of the cast to watch a game and later going to a restaurant, he insists on them going out without him. 

"No, please, go have fun. Please don't stay at the hotel because of me. It's just my leg, it's—"

After a fifteen minute discussion, they agree. Noel volunteers to stay with him _, to take the heat_ but Cameron hates this. He tries to explain that Noel doesn't have to, that he should go out as well. That the people at the hotel definitely can live without a tenth photo in their collection and that if they don’t understand the boundaries and keep waiting so late at night, they don’t exactly deserve Noel’s attention. Cameron explains that he could easily make an excuse (which this time is not an excuse at all) and go to his room without any problems. 

"Plus," he adds in annoyance. "I feel sick. I don't care if it disappoints them in any way. I just want some peace."

But maybe that's why Noel insists. He says it's okay, he says that he wants to make sure that they won’t bother Cameron. He says that he’s also tired so it’s not a big deal. To be honest, Noel does look terrible: red puffy eyes after twelve hours of filming and barely sleeping last night. Cameron totally gets it. But he knows that Noel would still go out with the cast if he _himself_ could go. He knows that Noel enjoys Kate and Shanola's company. He knows that Noel would rather sit in the corner and talk to Kate than actually watch the game that Shanola, Steve, Jeremy, Emma wanted to watch. He knows that _they_ know, but no one says a single thing about it. They understand _._

So instead of enjoying some free time out in the city, Noel goes to the hotel with Cameron. People that have been waiting there for them are not exactly happy about Cameron leaving immediately, but they wish for him to get well soon. And he appreciates this, he truly does. But what he appreciates even more is the silence and the cosiness of his hotel room. No filming crew — as much as he respects them, no more Ian clothes, no more _freezing_ in Ian's clothes as if it's still warm outside and not the freaking winter in Chicago. No more walking on crutches, no more walking without them and without wearing the boot, which was somehow even worse. At least for the night. 

He turns on the lamp on the wall above the bed, leaves the crutches on the floor, takes the coat off and throws it on the armchair. 

And then he just sits on the bed. Not being able to lie down or even move. 

He waits. 

* * *

Noel is doing it all. 

"Can I hug you?" 

"Oh, you smell so nice. Is it okay if I ask what it is?" 

"Is there anything you could tell us about the filming this season? And I mean, anything, I'm so excited."

"Is Cameron alright?" 

"You were great on The Red Line." 

"Are you planning on working on any other projects that you can tell us about?"

"Oh, could you sign this?"

"Oh, let's take a photo. And me. _And with me._ And for my friend, Noel, please, my friend loves you so much, could you record a video?"

"Say something nice to the camera, please?"

 _Noel, Noel, Noel._ Noel talks and smiles, but when he feels that it's enough, he thanks them once again. He wishes them a good night. And he happily leaves without showing his relief out of politeness, but still knowing how it's one of the best parts of the day: finally being able to shut off the rest of the world after an absolutely draining day. He lets the relieved sigh out when standing in an empty elevator. _Silence._

His whole body is hurting, so is the head and maybe that is also the reason why he can barely stand still. His mouth is sore from all the talking, and he thinks that if he closes his eyes for more than a second, he will fall asleep immediately. 

He doesn't bother to knock on the door, he just opens it with his own key. Cameron is sitting on the bed and doesn't even flinch when Noel enters the room. 

"Hey."

"How's your leg?"

Cameron rolls his eyes and waves off the question, _whatever._

They look at each other and suddenly both exhale loudly once again, with satisfaction. After all of the running Noel did today, he just gets to walk as slow as he wants to. Or even not walk at all. Cameron was walking and jumping so much that now he just gets to _be_ and ignore every single thing around him. 

Except for Noel. It does bother him that Noel did something for him when he didn't need to, but at the same time he's so glad he's not alone in this. He watches Noel take his coat off and leave it on the chair next to Cameron's, then takes the boots off. He immediately feels calmer when Noel puts a hand around his chest and just falls on the bed, taking Cameron with him. 

It's a safe space, they don't need to pretend. They can both relax and groan in pain or just be silent together, doing absolutely nothing. Noel lies there on his growling stomach and doesn't say a thing. Yeah, it would be nice to order some food, they are both hungry. But their bodies feel so heavy. They can either wake up to start doing something or just completely fall asleep, maybe without even taking their clothes off or taking a shower. 

"How’s your leg?"

Noel asks again ten minutes later, and that's how Cameron knows he actually means it. 

_Hurts like hell_ he thinks, but it's hard to even talk. It's itchy, and twitchy, and he's just doing whatever he can to ignore it. 

"Hurts."

"Did you take the pill?"

"No."

"Do you want me to get it?"

"I don't want _you_ to get it, but I literally cannot move."

"So yes?"

"So probably, yes." 

"You should have told me earlier."

"Sorry." 

Noel forces himself off the bed, and that calming warmth and the weight of his arm disappears from Cameron's chest. He stares at the ceiling while listening to how the mini bar opens and to the sound of searching through clothes in the suitcase for the ibuprofen or whatever they still have left from the doctor's prescription. They bought a few different ones and when the pain becomes really bad, he takes Tylenol or Advil, or even both. It really doesn't matter whatever works, he doesn't think too much about it. 

When Noel finally finds it and gives it to Cameron, he also decides to order them something to eat while he still have the energy to talk to strangers. They find a restaurant that works with their hotel just down the street and they ask for some fries, some steak and a simple veggie salad. They make the tea from the small hot boiler that they have in their room and while they wait, Noel sits next to Cameron on the bed and puts his hand on Cameron's leg. 

"You alright?" 

It feels as if they are slowly taking off the masks of their characters. Some days it takes longer than usual.

"Yeah." Cameron sighs. "Just a really long day, you know?" 

Noel gently rubs Cameron's thigh, as if trying to comfort him.

"You were mocking me today when we were filming." Cameron says calmly. "For not being able to walk or run fast enough. That's ruuude of you Fisher."

Noel smiles. "Who knew you'd be a mess by the end of the day?"

"The doctor said that it's going to be at least another month with the boot on, so what else did you expect?"

Noel looks at him softly. "You're not feeling like taking a shower, are you?"

"Probably after dinner. And we still have to film tomorrow, I have no idea how. I mean, I do, but what the hell?" Cameron groans. 

"And we have to get up early as well. I'm _really_ glad I didn't go out." 

"I know you wanted to go." Cameron looks at Noel apologetically. 

"Eh,” Noel shrugs it off. “I'm not missing much. At least I get to be in bed at a decent time."

Cameron knows that at some point he would have forced himself to take some painkillers, to undress and maybe to eat some unhealthy snacks or just simply brush his teeth before going to bed. But he also knows that Noel makes it ten times easier for him and no matter how much he tries, he cannot ever express it all to Noel. He pulls him in for a tight hug instead.

"Thank you."

"I would sit on your lap right now, but your leg..." Noel teases him, and Cameron just smiles at that. 

"Maybe after dinner," he repeats, "if the pain gets easier."

Noel yawns. "Or maybe after we have dinner, I'll go take a shower and then snuggle you to sleep?" 

He breaks the hug and keeps yawning, making Cameron do the same. _"Noel."_

"What can I," he stands up yawning once _again,_ "ahhh, do? I meant it when I said that I'm tired."

His eyes are watery from all the yawns. 

"When we're done filming," Cameron says after a small pause, "we're going back to LA."

"Unless you have another place in mind? Where else should we go?"

Cameron likes that Noel doesn’t even notice when he slips from “you” to “we” talk, as if Los Angeles and Cameron's house are Noel's home as well. He likes that Noel sees them as a real couple more and more, even if not intentionally. And at this point, maybe it _is_ Noel's home. He’s been there a few times, slept in the guest bedroom when they were filming in LA and they shared everything people can share when they live together — for weeks.

Cameron knows that Noel is still getting used to the feeling of being in a relationship with him and that it can be hard when he’s been in a relationship with Layla for so many years. _Quite an insecure and toxic relationship,_ he adds in his mind. So he’s also getting used to this whole world of not only being Noel’s best friend, but also dating him for eight months. It feels _right_ , cozy, even though it’s still pretty new to both of them.

"What I mean is that it's _warmer_ in LA and we still have some promo to do. I also have tons of Star Wars promo interviews coming.” Cameron continues. “Noel, you don't have to leave immediately we finish working." 

"Wait, do you actually want me to…?”

"Yes, I want to spend more time with you, alright? Don't look so surprised. Oh, and _shut up_ with your smile."

Noel looks like he’s about to say something, but they get interrupted by a knock on the door. 

"Yay," Noel lazily giggles like a small kid, knowing that their food has finally arrived. 

When Noel puts their dinner on the side table, the tea isn't that smoking hot so they can actually drink it. For Cameron, it's some Christmas mix: cinnamon, pomegranate and orange. For Noel, it's just black tea.

"You sure you don't want to join me in the shower?" Noel takes off his cardigan and shirt. Cameron looks at him and still can't get his eyes off, the butterflies in his stomach are going crazy. That could be the smell of the food as well, but he's pretty sure it's _Noel_. He wants to pull him closer and kiss him. 

He feels useless for not being able to take the food instead Noel, for not being able to actually move around the room at the moment. He hates not only the pain, but that he has to cover the leg with something waterproof before turning the water on in shower. That it's not as romantic and hot as it could be. 

And something in Cameron's expression lets Noel know about Cameron slipping into this. He knows that it’s not exactly a happy ride and no matter how much they joke about it, at the end of the day it’s still uncomfortable. Sometimes Cameron wakes up at night, trying to fall back asleep for half an hour, just because of how bad it is. So he comes to Cameron to kiss him: slowly, deeper with every kiss, as if saying _“I know”_ just to show him some support. 

"Nice to know," he says into his mouth, "you think that I'm hot even after fourteen hours of being awake and looking like total _garbage_."

"Oh, fuck you Fisher," Cameron pushes him away, but the smile says it all. 

The more time they spend with each other, the more secrets they share, especially after getting Noel out of the relationship with Layla. The easier it gets, as if each other’s company gives them a second breath, as if it powers them up. 

Noel is being his dorky self as he blows Cameron a kiss before disappearing into the bathroom, which makes Cameron laugh out loud. 

He still feels the leg hurting as he unwraps their food, just maybe not as bad as before. He's slowly sipping the tea, wondering how exactly he ended up in love with Noel after so many years of something so strong and platonic. Even though the realisation didn’t happen too fast, he never thought they would actually _start_ something. 

Or maybe it's the fact that Noel was hiding the problems in his marriage so well that when he came up to Cameron with “So, here’s the deal” and told him about every single little thing, and how fucking tired he is of dealing with Layla and her bullshit, Cameron truly didn’t know how to react. It was shocking. 

“I want out,” Noel said then. “Can I count on you?”

And that is why he asked Cameron in the first place, because he _knew_ that Cameron would do whatever it took to help. 

And now they get to wake up in one bed and Noel doesn't turn him down when they talk about living together at Cameron's place once again, but as _lovers_ this time. And as Cameron starts eating, he just can't stop himself from thinking about the winter holidays this year. Where they could go and all the things that they could do and experience together. 

And the only thing he knows, despite all the pain, the snow and the shitty weather. Despite all the possible deleted scenes they still have to film through the cold, is that he, indeed feels incredibly lucky. He listens to the sound of running water and for the first time in many years, he feels that it’s something that could actually work. The matching schedule, the same sense of humour, the understanding of how the industry actually works, the script reading together. Even playing house. 

Noel walks out of the shower with the towel around his waist and gets on the bed. He says that he's starving and asks if the food is any good. He still looks terrible, but he sounds more alive than when they wrapped for the day. 

They have this boring conversation on how great the salad is. How the steak and the fries are just _potatoes and meat_ , nothing extraordinary. Noel asks if the pill worked and Cameron realises that yes, it's more itchy now than painful. 

"See? It's good that I didn't go out," Noel says casually. And looking at this almost naked, wet, hungry Noel, Cameron wants to hug him once again, to show affection in the way he knows and feels is best; through touches. 

Cameron looks at Noel and hopes that maybe one day Noel will actually understand how truly _h a p p y_ he makes him. 

January 3rd, 2020.


End file.
